Feeling like coming full circle sometimes feels like a while lot of lost time. Bits and pieces of wisdom that people tried to pass to me are coming back verified. And I see that those lucky enough to have leaders I their lives that could be trusted have so many blessings to count. Or do I have it backward? Perhaps it was my inability to trust that led me on a path towards skepticism. THEY said I should go left and so I went ahead and went right. Only to find that going right was wrong all along. But hell, if I stumbled along the scenic route then was it so bad to be wrong? And was it worth it anyway if I now know that I definitely want to go left?

In this case, in spending time with friends who are like family, its always sad to see each other grow apart. When you realize in reflecting back on the last hangout, that you just cant relate at all. Its not that they arent still wonderful people, or amazing in their own right, its just that you look at them and you dont see a reflection of yourself like you used to. Somehow, you just dont seem to BELONG. Is it true what they told me? That I would find the most happiness among people with similar back grounds to me? Apparently so. Apparently so. Fuck. And this whole time I deemed them closed minded, ignorant. So what does it mean that I am experiencing this myself?

I dont know if its a cultural thing or a family thing or a personal thing, or maybe all of the above. But I just find that speaking in another language that most people around you dont understand when you know how to speak the consensus language is so fucking rude. I dont care if its spanish, or my own language (vietnamese) but I hate when people do this. I just want to hit them.

A lot of times I forgot that being conscientious of other people pays off in karma or whatever it is, and I wish I could be fucking rude like other people are and go on with my merry self.

Life has been really good to me. Still working on letting go, taking things less seriously, and enjoying things. Its been working! Smiles all around!!

Even the little bits of work frustration are just windows and opportunities to talk to others and relate to them.

Lately, I just feel like there are so many amazing people with so many amazing stories to tell, if only you got it out of them. I wish there were a better medium than facebook or something to really get to know people. The way that people use certain defense mechanisms, or how brave some people are in how they just put themselves out there, or their passion. I love all of it. Ive been eating it up and letting all the learning and the energy bring me up!

Yeah life!

I feel like there is NO time in the day. Too many things to do, not enough relaxing time. Not enough time for my friends, my family, my boyfriend, my video games or school or cooking or chores or homework. Nothing. Only time inbetween shit for Facebook. I dont even like taking a fucking shit because it takes up too much time.

Theres no time left in my life, passing my prime. No time at work to get the shit done I need to get done.

If I had all the money in the world I still wouldnt have enough time!

I am a little overwhelmed, cant you tell?

So I realized that a lot of why Im enjoying life in general lately is because of all the awesome people Ive been building relationships with at work. I had no idea that I would find people that had those same quirks and *weirdnesses* about me! So refreshing!

Last night spent the night at Heathers house and it was the perfect girly sleepover! Yay!

Its awesome finally having people to share my hobbies with again.

However, since going back to school Ive been feeling a lot YOUNGER. I guess a lot of it is the fact that since being employed, Ive dropped back to my *normal* weight, which is awesome. And then the whole thing where I really get along with all the youngins in my life. And of course the whole thing where all the 19 year olds I befriend think Im about 21. Not a bad thing I feel like. Ive always told myself that I refuse to become a jaded adult. I love being easily amused! And passionate. And emotional.

Halloween is coming just around the corner. I cant wait.

Journal writing is definitely better for being introspective though.

I had an awesome birthday weekend, thanks to Joe and a few Best Buy buddies. Ive been missing my old San Jose BFFs but I cant pretend that Best Buy people havent been providing enough stimulation to fill in the holes in my time.

I never thought I would be, but Best Buy is so friggin awesome so far. I am excited to be there, and excited to work for a Fortune 100 company, even if I am at the very bottom of the bottom. At least Im in a knowledgeable department, computers. I love seeing how business is run here, and that its obvious that they know how a business is run.